I went to a dermatologist and somehow…
I went to a dermatologist and somehow ended up in an escape room.
The objective was simple: figure out what was actually wrong with me before the medical team did.
I initially presented with a little spot on my foot. A biopsy was performed, pathology was reviewed, and I was told it was benign. Great news. I left believing the issue had been properly diagnosed and managed.
Months later, that confidence began to unravel.
One provider looked at the lesion and said, "that doesn't look like....".
Another openly expressed confusion as she walked into the room.
Another questioned whether the pathology report actually supported the original diagnosis and questioned all three previous appointments.
Watching multiple professionals within the same practice disagree about the same case was not reassuring. It was alarming.
Then came the plot twist.
The diagnosis changed. - I HAVE CANCER!
To be clear, medicine is complicated. Rare cases happen. Pathology can be challenging. No reasonable patient expects perfection.
What patients do expect is communication, coordination, and accountability when something significant changes.
Instead, I was left WITHOUT HELP managing my own case!
I found my own specialists. I pursued additional opinions. I coordinated records. I researched next steps. I followed up when communication stopped.
Literally THEY WOULD NOT GIVE ME RECORDS OR REPLY TO ANY QUESTIONS OR EMAILS!
Nor did they offer or help in any referral to cancer specialist. (read that again!) THEY DID NOT HELP!
At times it felt less like receiving medical care and more like being assigned a full-time project.
The emotional impact of being told "it's benign" and later hearing "you have cancer" is difficult to describe. It is the kind of news that changes the way you think, sleep, and process every interaction that follows.
What made the experience even more frustrating was that once I entered a different medical office - the difference was immediate and obvious. Doctors reviewed pathology, ordered imaging, discussed strategy, coordinated care, answered questions, and treated the situation with the seriousness it deserved.
They also treated me with respect. NO homophobic accusations, never called me a liar and never made me feel like a second class citizen.
Most importantly, they treated me like a human being.
That contrast highlighted everything that had been missing here.
I also experienced interactions that left me feeling dismissed, judged, and disrespected. As a gay man, there were comments and behaviors that were biased and inappropriate. Highly inappropriate.
Whether intentional or not, the result was the same: I left feeling less like a patient and more like a problem. More like a side-show at a carnival where they wanted me out of the office as fast as possible.
I was gay shammed and called a liar multiple times. (read that again)
Not everyone at the practice was responsible for that experience. In fact, one physician assistant (in Plano) and one other physician were excellent. They were compassionate, professional, and genuinely helpful.
Unfortunately, they were the exception rather than the rule. The male doctor and his female PA were not.
By the end of this process, it was the emotional toll, confusion and self-managed care that I had to go through without ANY support.
My other concern was the lack of consistency, communication, and ownership once it became clear something more serious was happening.
If you need routine skincare, your experience may be completely different from mine.
But if your situation ends up complex, unusual, or potentially serious, my experience raises important questions about communication, coordination, and patient advocacy.
If you are gay - just stay away.
The lesson I took away is one I never expected to learn: Its 2026 and regardless of a medical degree, some people are still hateful, rude, disgusting and will not provide you the medical care you deserve.